One of the hardest parts of navigating chronic illness and severe trauma in our society is the constant, toxic expectation that you are only allowed to exist if you are being "productive."
The moment you have a good day or even a good few hours, people love to jump in with bad faith judgments. If you go for a walk in the park, cook yourself a nice meal, or share a moment of joy, someone is always there waiting to say, "Well, if you can do that, why can't you work a job?"
Anybody who says that to you is being an asshole, plain and simple.
What those people don't understand is that low pressure, gentle activities aren't "proof you're cured" they are the core foundation of somatic healing. Rebuilding a shattered nervous system requires you to actively participate in non demanding, joyful experiences.
For me, somatic healing looks like doing art, spending quiet time in nature, or teaching my pup new tricks. Teaching Pharaby tricks or walking with her gets my brain completely out of the trauma loop and gives my nervous system a brief window of real peace. Setting a nice table for myself, dressing cute just for me, and taking care of my space are acts of self respect and healing.
You are not broken for needing help. You are not a fraud for having a good window of ability and taking advantage of it to read a book or enjoy the sun. Healing doesn't mean you sit in a dark room suffering 24/7 until you're magically ready to jump back into being a cog in an economic wheel.
The only thing that actually heals an injured nervous system is safety, stability, and genuine rest.
You do not owe the world a performance of your suffering to prove you deserve support. You are allowed to seek peace, you are allowed to protect your sanctuary, and you are allowed to live your life in pursuit of quiet happiness without explaining yourself to anybody.
Protecting your peace, enjoying the good days, and refusing to let people shame you for living your life is the only way forward when you are trying to heal. Because my health crashed so hard that I can no longer work, my GoFundMe is what keeps us afloat while I build a safe, peaceful life on my own terms. If you are in a position to donate or share the link with others, I am so grateful for your help in keeping our sanctuary safe.